digital_dive | [audio]

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So, we all know that everybody was supposedly data frozen for a week after Chaosmon got his ass kicked, right? Right, right...

...MY question is...

How many of you were abducted and experimented upon by Digital Aliens without your knowledge?!

We were all ripe for the picking! They could have picked us up and set us back down without anyone knowing!

After all, the non-partner Digimon got reset before we did! There's no telling what the case was for creatures from beyond!

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Question: How would we know?

Typical signs of alien abduction include unexplained scars, foreign insertions of unobtrusive devices into the body, and anal discomfort.

Needless to say, if you have noticed any of these symptoms, please report to Agent Suzumiya post-haste.

...

Why are you encouraging this, Commander?

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externalmonologue - 2012-03-10 23:19 (UTC) - Expand

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unreliablenarrarator - 2012-03-10 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

Nope, nope and...nope. All clear.

Next question. I heard no one can get into space. How would we have aliens?

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Aliens? Do we have Aliens?

Vademon are Aliens...or like Aliens anyways.

Oh- ew. Ew ew, don't even want to think about that.

No, no, no. Vademon just LOOK like aliens, but they're still from this world!

They don't count anymore than some cosplayer saying he's from some anime or manga.

Oh whew, that's good to know.

...wait then which aliens-I mean, cause it can't be aliens that are tamers right? They'd have been frozen too?

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... [sigh]

What

Didn't you already do this?

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[groan]

Suzumiya-san...

You know I'm right, right??

I...

[gulp. Trying to stand up to Haruhi. This could potentially go very badly.]

I-I... I don't think you are! And I don't believe in aliens!

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unreliablenarrarator - 2012-03-13 04:06 (UTC) - Expand

... Wait, Digital Aliens?

... Please no Rikti Restructurists, please no Rikti Restructurists...

But of course! It'd be lonely to think that this world was the only thing in this universe.

...

Wait, what's a Rikti?

Things you don't want to deal with!

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Why would "Digital Aliens" hide their attempts to gather information? It would be more efficient to simply access this world's databases and pose questions to us directly.

Aliens don't work on efficiency, obviously. Or their practices are so far beyond what we know that what seems inefficient to us may be efficient to them.

What is your basis for making those statements?

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gsx401fw - 2012-03-13 03:59 (UTC) - Expand

The answer is simple.

[Ratchet smirks evilly at the screen and waves his hands.]

I experimented on ALL of you!

RATCHET!

Yes, Experiment 245?

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Right... and I'm god.

You're not god. The test results came back. You're human and have cooties.

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unreliablenarrarator - 2012-03-15 05:45 (UTC) - Expand

Dun dun duun? [Dramatic chord? Haku berated you, he's enabling. Bad Sam. Bad.]

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